CSI: TACO BELL

There are four things that I usually have on my person at all times: My cell phone, IPod, wallet and keys. Whenever I set out on a new adventure, whether it be a major trip on an airplane, or heading out to lunch, I do my patented "four point self pat down". I slap each pocket that contains each item. If I locate all four items I am good to go. It is rare that in midjourney that the "self pat" registers a failure.

However last Thursday, just as I am leaving to go camping for a long weekend, the "self pat" only registered three items; my wallet was missing. Anxiety sets in...people are waiting for me in a hot car. I retrace my steps... computer desk... nothing... kitchen...nothing...car...nothing. I now realize when the last time I saw it... TACO BELL a few hours before.

So I jump in the car and head (ie. run) for the border. As I walk in, my phone rings. Preoccupied, I silence the ringer. I approach the counter.

"Has anyone turned in a wallet?", I ask the cashier.
"Keys?", she responds.
"No, a wallet", at which point I try signing wallet, which in my version of signing is putting the palms of your heels together and clap. This amazingly gets through.
"Oh, your the guy who lost his wallet", she exclaims with unexpected clarity.
"Yep, he be I", I said feeling like a schmuck.
"I have it right here."

Now before I continue, you need to know something about me. I store a lot of things in my wallet. Receipts, membership/frequent buyer cards, ID Cards, credit cards, etc. Really everything but money which, if I have any, is balled up in my front pocket. So my wallet is thick. It is George Costanza thick, if you get the reference.

So anyways, the cashier disappears in the back and returns with a plastic bag. She hands it to me and I realize that this is no ordinary plastic bag. It is a Taco Bell labeled evidence bag, complete with red sealing tape that I assume is for signing to prove no one else has opened the bag. In all, I am impressed at the level of security that my wallet has been guarded under. That is until she lobs it to me over the counter, without attempting to verify it was mine. The technology is there but the training has failed. I thank her and return to my car.

As I am driving away, I remember that I had silenced a call so I check my voicemail. I have a message from campus police saying that the manager of Taco Bell called and he has my wallet. He saw my work ID and business card and called the campus police of the college I work at. He is an alum of said college and indicated he would drop it off with campus police after his shifts ends. Again, excellent detective skills exhibited by the Taco Bell staff! Upon hearing this, I want to go back and thank the manager, but I have already delayed the departure and I didn't want to set up camp in the dark, so I left.

Now the question for you, dear readers (if I have any left!) is what would you do in my situation? I would like to thank the manager, but haven't settled on the right thing to do. Do I go in and just thank him? Write a letter to the corporate office and CC: him? Do I just leave it be?

Please leave any and all suggestions in the comment area.

YouTube - Autistic basketball player creates mayhem at game

And now the feel good story of the week...

YouTube - Autistic basketball player creates mayhem at game

Prolific Actor Darren McGavin Dies at 83 - Yahoo! News

Two Obits in one weekend, very sad.

Prolific Actor Darren McGavin Dies at 83 - Yahoo! News

A Christmas Story is my favorite holiday movie by far and a lot of that is due to Darren McGavin. From battling the furnace, chasing after the Bumpus hounds, or displaying his major award in the window (It must be from France..It says Fragile {frajeelay}, Mr. McGavin has been a part of my holidays since I can remember.

He was also Kolchak: The Night Stalker which I enjoyed thoroughly in reruns. This show paved the way for the X-Files. If you haven't seen it, check it out.

OK, that's two and these things come in threes.... Who's next?

Welcome to HiddenPassageway.com - There is no fantasy.

Neil Gaiman offered this link on his web page.

Welcome to HiddenPassageway.com - There is no fantasy.


I have always wanted a secret passageway, ever since I was a kid (maybe it was seeing Batman's secret passage to the bat cave, or the secret rooms in the Don Knotts classic The Ghost and Mr. Chicken). Well, now I know I can add a few hidden spaces when I strike it rich and build my dream house.

If only they could design something for my current apartment!

Emmy winner Don Knotts dead at 81 - Yahoo! News

Emmy winner Don Knotts dead at 81 - Yahoo! News

Don Knotts was one of my favorite comedians. Barney Fife is in my top ten of favorite TV characters. I still chuckle whenever I think of the bullet he kept in his pocket because nobody trusted Deputy Fife with a loaded gun.

Every year, in Mount Airy, North Carolina, the Mayberry Days festival is held and Don Knotts was a regular attendee. I wish I had taken the time to attend while I was living there in Wilmington. It would have been worth the 5 hour car ride to catch a glimpse of genius.

We have Hallmark to thank...

Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Or as it is known in my household "Black Tuesday".

Eats, shoots and leaves

In response to this article which quotes Scott McClellen of saying the following:

"The vice president spoke with Mrs. Katharine Armstrong, and they agreed that she should make that information public," McClellan said. "She was an eyewitness. She saw what occurred and she called her local paper to provide those facts."

I have written an open letter.


A letter to the White House:

When dealing with the day to day Vice Presidential indiscretions, whether it be a Haliburton "no bid" contract or a shooting of a major donor while quail hunting (Who hunts quail, by the way?), please take it from me, it is best to let it be spun from the White House. The public just doesn't get how to do a proper cover up that you are used to. When the truth is heard these days, it is somewhat unpalatable to the American Public. We would much rather hear that Mr. Whittington has ties to a terrorist organization and Mr. Cheney lured him with the promise of delicious quail to hunt (terrorists love quail!), only to shoot him on the spot in a grand display of Texas Justice (in the style of Chuck Norris).

Mr Cheney making Mrs. Armstrong your press liaison really infringed on your opportunity to spin. Sure Fox News will still have your back and before this is over, Mr. Cheney will be held as a champion for the NRA, but still this is a missed opportunity I think.

Thanks for your attention to this matter. I will now replace the wool over my eyes. There, that feels so much better.

Scarlett Mix

Here is my new favorite playlist. I created it for a friend and felt it needed to be shared. If you have Rhapsody, click on the link to give it a listen. Enjoy!

Ian

Scarlett Mix:
"1. Final Straw (MoveOn Mix) - R.E.M.
2. Tippecanoe and Tyler Too - They Might Be Giants
3. Careful - Guster
4. Comfortably Numb - Dar Williams
5. Uncle John's Band - Indigo Girls
6. This Side - Nickel Creek
7. Born To Hum - Erin McKeown
8. Into The Dark - Ben Lee
9. The Waitress - The Waifs
10. Anthony - Nickel Creek
11. The Guitar (LP Version) - They Might Be Giants
12. Catch My Disease - Ben Lee
13. We Are More - Erin McKeown
14. Portions For Foxes - Rilo Kiley
15. Where Does the Good Go - Tegan and Sara
16. Somebody More Like You - Nickel Creek
17. Beauty In Your Eyes - Chris Ardoin/Double Clutchin'"

In the spirit of Christmas

A friend of mine, T, is a postal worker in the area and keeps a pretty decent blog.

He related one of the nicest story of giving I have heard in a while. Check it out here!

"In the immortal words of Socrates, 'I drank what?'"

I have done a good job avoiding the malls this Christmas season. I shopped primarily with Amazon.com and in little Mom and Pop stores throughout the Western Mass. area.

The other night I saw a store called Plato's Closet. Always on the lookout for a unique shop, I did a drive by, totally expecting a store featuring puzzles, mind games, etc. This to me would make sense. Plato the philosopher would appreciate a shop with "heady" items like puzzles.

To my surprise, it was a used clothing store, apparently aimed at young adults. A sign prominently displayed, announcing they not only sold but would buy your old clothing.

It then came to me:

This store must be named for the late Dana Plato, star of the eighties sitcom Diff'rent Strokes.

In the end she succumbed to drug abuse. I imagine she probably sold a lot of her clothes to buy smack.

I found this store's homage to be a little distasteful. I kept on driving.

Birthday Playlist

The office had a birthday party for me today. Lunch was shipped in and it ended with a round of AApples to Apples" One of my favorite co-workers made a cd for me (legally). Here it is with a Rhaposdy link if you want to listen to it. Not included because not found on Rhapsody:
"I'm Feeling Good" - Holly Golightly & Dan Melchior
"Mondjuba" - Angelique Kidjo
"Relate to Me" - The Voyces


Rhapsody Playlist:
1. Dreams Be Dreams - Jack Johnson
2. Ladyfingers - Luscious Jackson
3. Crying Shame - Jack Johnson
4. In The Waiting Line - Zero 7
5. Grazing In The Grass - Hugh Masekela
6. Wake Up Everybody - Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes
7. Super Duper Love - Joss Stone
8. For What It's Worth - Buffalo Springfield
9. True Love Is Hard To Find - Toots and the Maytals
10. Beauty In Your Eyes - Chris Ardoin/Double Clutchin'
11. The Revolution Solution - Thievery Corporation with Perry Farrell
12. Your Love Gets Sweeter - Finley Quaye
13. Fruits Of My Labor - Lucinda Williams
14. Stimela - Hugh Masekela
15. Melissa - Allman Brothers Band
16. Anywhere - Beth Orton

"A Voter's Lament" or "I Voted Today"

I have never missed voting in an election. The big ones are easy. Presidential elections, gubernatorial, Senate and the House; all of these have major campaigns and hopefully they have gotten their ideologies out to the public, (although more likely they have smeared their opponents with attack ads and you are left trying to asses a candidates position by figuring out what their opponents have not attacked them on...but I digress).

However, it is the little town elections, when the biggest race is mayor, or city council, or board of education, that I have the hardest time with. You would think these little dinky elections would be easy, right? I would have too, but they just suck for someone who is obsessed with being involved in the election process as I am.

When I was 18 and living at home, I would get the low down on the candidates from my dad, who was involved in politics at the local level. He would basically get out the ballot in the newspaper and rate each candidate on two categories: Were they an asshole and what issues they supported. I would like to say that the issues won out over assholedness, but I can't. All of his opinions were based on inside information; you really can't rate the asshole level of a candidate without getting involved in city council.

So now here I am, in a different state and screwed. Without my dad giving me the low down, I have to assess each candidate on my own. There is no way I am getting involved with local politics; my civic engagement stops at voting. And the newspaper is no help. There was no platform statements or track records or a nifty color graph charting the asshole level of each candidate. What are you to do?

Maybe I could find someone who had some insights on the local races. Well, I am afraid to say that few people share my civic sense of responsibility. I could only find one colleague who had voted. I asked her about her strategy. She shared my frustration of the lack of information available for local politicians so she came up with a strategy of her own. She said she voted for all women. I think she was working under the assumption that women are less likely to be assholes then men. Interesting theory, but I need to see some evidence to support it.

At the end of the day I still knew nothing about the candidates on my ballot. As I got closer to my polling station, the anxiety level rose. My worse fear was to help put or keep an asshole in office. Is voting blindly worse than not voting at all?

As I pulled into the parking lot of the polling site, I was pretty worried about the implication of what I was about to do and then I had something more than an idea but less than an epiphany. Perhaps it was a brainstorm? I don't know what it was but it felt right at the time.

What occurred to me was that I pretty much have found most politicians to be cloying and insincere. I have especially felt this way the last eight years. The wrong people are getting into office. If this is true than I should vote for only people that would unseat an incumbent candidate. Full shift of power. So that is what I did. I voted for all the challengers. I imagine voting blindly like this would make the founding members of America cringe, but hey what is more American than blurting out an opinion without any information to back it up.

I have no idea if that was the right strategy, voting for all challengers to seats. However, in life I have found that it is almost always right to route for the underdog.

Too Much Information

The office that I work in gets a multitude of mail promoting anything that would be an interesting and entertaining to bring to a college campus. Believe me when I tell you that it can run the gamut.
Today, a president of a club brought to my attention a small postcard advertising a gentleman that claims to be an "Explorer, Wildlife Handler, Lecturer, Author".

The name of this wildlife expert?

Rusty Johnson

Trapped in the Boondocks

I have to apologize for the failure to update for the past few months. I would love to tell you it was due to a pilgrimage to Nepal to learn ancient blogging arts to combat evil and bring the funny, but really I have been uninspired to write anything.

However, tonight I have been inspired to write, and I hope you in turn will be inspired to do two things which I will list later.

So why now I am I posting, you ask with baited breath?

Well because this Sunday night at 11:00 eastern time, the next great television show premieres. Aaron McGruder's "The Boondocks" airs on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

Never heard of "The Boondocks"? Well you have a lot of catching up to do. The Boondocks is a comic strip involving two kids living with their grandfather. 10 year old Huey is how I imagine a pre-teen Calvin of "Calvin and Hobbes" would turn out. Politically astute, and well spoken; Huey points out the ridiculousness of today's society in a way that is always funny.

His 8 year old brother Riley is a product of the Hip-Hop generation and is a great foil to Huey. Both kids have grown up in the city. However, upon retirement, their grandfather moved them to suburbia and now they most live in a rich neighborhood where the hypocrisy around them knows no bounds.

Based on what I read, the satire in the television show will not be as current as the strip (each episode has been in development for over a year). However it sounds like it takes the issues head on. The people at Cartoon Network gave them full creative control and, from what I have read and seen, they have used it.

If you are curious about this great comic strip and show, check out the following links:

The Comic Strip
The TV Show
A Review
Some Reading


Now for the 2 things you can do for me that I mentioned earlier:

1. Watch "The Boondocks" this Sunday at 11:00 pm on The Cartoon Network.
2. Let me know if you missed me in my long hiatus. A comment or two may just be the inspiration I have been looking for!

30 Days

I just watched '30 Days', a new show on FX that takes a person and immerses them in a particular lifestyle for 30 days. The episode had a Christian man from West Virginia, move to a community of Muslims in Dearborn, MI and live as a Muslim for 30 days.

It is a great concept for a show and it really was well done. I think new episodes air on Wednesdays at 10:00, but they are repeated a few times during the week.

Do the Twist

This is actual footage of a tornado forming. Pretty amazing stuff.

kare11.com : Minneapolis, St. Paul

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

Micah pointed out that now Tom Cruise is a level 5 Sith. Very funny!

Ian

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

"Back in the USSR" or "The War of the Rings" or "Don't be 'Putin' that in your Pocket"

Damn, those Russian's are slick. Here's hoping that this incident doesn't start WWIII.



For Putin, it's a gem of a cultural exchange - The Boston Globe - Boston.com - Patriots - Sports

Update: According to this article, Mr. Kraft sets the record straight and says that he did intend to give the ring as a gift. I am not so sure I buy it. If it is true, is that a slap in the face to the palyers? Debate is now open in the comments section.

Regardless, I know that I will sleep a little bit better knowing that WWIII has been averted once again!

Live 8

I am doing my part to get the word out on "Live 8". Technorati is trying to get 100,000 blogs to comment on it, so here is my entry. More details to follow...

I am a Statistic

I completed this survey of people who keep blogs. It was interesting and pretty short. If you keep a blog, fill it out and help the research.

Ian