Thursday, July 27, 2006

CSI: TACO BELL

There are four things that I usually have on my person at all times: My cell phone, IPod, wallet and keys. Whenever I set out on a new adventure, whether it be a major trip on an airplane, or heading out to lunch, I do my patented "four point self pat down". I slap each pocket that contains each item. If I locate all four items I am good to go. It is rare that in midjourney that the "self pat" registers a failure.

However last Thursday, just as I am leaving to go camping for a long weekend, the "self pat" only registered three items; my wallet was missing. Anxiety sets in...people are waiting for me in a hot car. I retrace my steps... computer desk... nothing... kitchen...nothing...car...nothing. I now realize when the last time I saw it... TACO BELL a few hours before.

So I jump in the car and head (ie. run) for the border. As I walk in, my phone rings. Preoccupied, I silence the ringer. I approach the counter.

"Has anyone turned in a wallet?", I ask the cashier.
"Keys?", she responds.
"No, a wallet", at which point I try signing wallet, which in my version of signing is putting the palms of your heels together and clap. This amazingly gets through.
"Oh, your the guy who lost his wallet", she exclaims with unexpected clarity.
"Yep, he be I", I said feeling like a schmuck.
"I have it right here."

Now before I continue, you need to know something about me. I store a lot of things in my wallet. Receipts, membership/frequent buyer cards, ID Cards, credit cards, etc. Really everything but money which, if I have any, is balled up in my front pocket. So my wallet is thick. It is George Costanza thick, if you get the reference.

So anyways, the cashier disappears in the back and returns with a plastic bag. She hands it to me and I realize that this is no ordinary plastic bag. It is a Taco Bell labeled evidence bag, complete with red sealing tape that I assume is for signing to prove no one else has opened the bag. In all, I am impressed at the level of security that my wallet has been guarded under. That is until she lobs it to me over the counter, without attempting to verify it was mine. The technology is there but the training has failed. I thank her and return to my car.

As I am driving away, I remember that I had silenced a call so I check my voicemail. I have a message from campus police saying that the manager of Taco Bell called and he has my wallet. He saw my work ID and business card and called the campus police of the college I work at. He is an alum of said college and indicated he would drop it off with campus police after his shifts ends. Again, excellent detective skills exhibited by the Taco Bell staff! Upon hearing this, I want to go back and thank the manager, but I have already delayed the departure and I didn't want to set up camp in the dark, so I left.

Now the question for you, dear readers (if I have any left!) is what would you do in my situation? I would like to thank the manager, but haven't settled on the right thing to do. Do I go in and just thank him? Write a letter to the corporate office and CC: him? Do I just leave it be?

Please leave any and all suggestions in the comment area.