A message to all the believers

It seems to me that there have been a lot of discussion on the web and on TV about the reality of Santa Claus. This is making me a little nervous, because while we do a good job of protecting our kids from porn other information that is for adults only, I could see a search landing a million sites that dispute the existence of Saint Nick.

So the staff at "Me Talk Pretty" would like to go on record that "Yes, 8 year old Google Searcher, there is a Santa Claus". Right now the people who put things on the television and put things up on the internet love to try to tell you that there is no such thing as a Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. But don't listen to them, because I will let you in on a secret. All of these things are real. The people who tell you that they are not are the people who made it onto the "naughty list" and want you to believe it so they are not so lonely at this time of year.

Whenever someone tells you that there is no such thing as Santa, you don't listen. These people will not get a visit from Santa this year, because they don't believe. But you do! So hold onto it tight and no matter what continue to believe because it is so important.

RADish

Welcome Rhapsody Radish to the "Me Talk Pretty" blogroll. For those of you who know me, I have been a faithful subscriber to Rhapsody for a little over a year. The author of Radish does some cool things on his site to share playlists and that sort of thing. He was searching profiles, found mine, and dropped me a line. I have been listening to great music ever since.

If you have access to Rhapsody (or even if you don't!) check out the site. It is cool.

The Most Aptly Named Film of the Year

Run out and see the Pixar film "The Incredibles". The animation of this film is unbelievable. It made me think I was watching 3D models in the vein of Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer, but not choppy. You have to see it to understand. The story was excellent as well. Definitely for older kids and adults. Just a phenomenal animated movie!

Ignore This Post

No Need to Click Here - I'm just claiming my feed at Feedster

Spanked!

local6.com - News - Women Allege Boss Spanked Them for Errors

Please read the above article and then read this post.

Ok, finished? Good! Can we just say that this provides an in depth understanding of the problems of the "Red States" (i.e. voted for W).

First off, the guy is a pervert who exploits these women to get off on whatever power trip he's got going on. That is undisputed.

But let's look at the whole picture. First off, all employees sign off on a clause that says ""I give Gene permission to bust my behind any way he sees fit."" What? I am no lawyer but I think upon reading this I might give some hesitation to signing it. When does the little voice say "Hey, maybe McDonald's isn't so bad after all. There is no spanking clause there."

And then, when the victims had been spanked, one stayed and finished her day because she didn't have a ride? What?!? You have just gotten a spanking on the job by your boss, but you choose to finish out the day because walking is just beneath you.

Then the other victim stayed on the job for over a year because she was given the ultimatum "either she could be spanked or be fired." Really? You chose the spanking? You work at the Tasty Flavors Sno Biz and you take the spanking over any of the upteen other minimum wage job that can be found along the main street of your hick town? Interesting choice!

But really what hits home to the mentality that we are dealing with is this quote from the local law enforcement officer: Police Sgt. Jay LaMance said the two 19-year-old women likely accepted the spankings instead of leaving immediately because they were "brought up to respect anybody who is an authority figure."

Holy crap, are you serious? The man owns a frickin' sno cone stand in Tennessee. Authority figure, really?

Sgt. LaMance was dangerously close to siding with Mr. Tasty Flavors when defending that the "photos are not sexually explicit," he said. "They are clothed." They of his employees ass! Clothed or not' the shot was of the derriere and that is it. And you elected Bush on the basis of Morality? Come on, Skeeter! I am from the morally bankrupt north and even I know a rose is a rose and a buttock is a buttock, clothed or not.

Alexander Graham Bell didn't picture this.

I love new technology, I love bells and whistles, and I love saving money. Combine those three things into one package and it is all over.

Since getting a cell phone 5 years ago, I have been toying with the idea of getting rid of my landline. Most of my phone conversations are long distance, so my cell is usually my phone of choice. However, I haven't felt comfortable making my cell my primary phone for 2 reasons:

1. I don't want to give out my cell phone number to businesses and have it ring all the time.
2. 911 is a feature I never want to use, but it's nice to know it is there.

So, even at $37 a month (I refuse to give up Caller ID and Call waiting or else I could get it cheaper), I held on to it. That is until 1 week ago.

I have heard a lot about VOiP telephone service. Basically it uses your internet broadband service to carry the telephone service. You plug your telephone into an adapter that is connected to the internet. Because the process uses little of the traditional telephone infrastructure, costs are much cheaper and nation wide long-distance is a thing of the past; every call is local.

After the adapter has been set up and you have your phone plugged into it, you really wouldn't know that you we're not on a traditional phone connection. The call goes through instantly and is clear.

The best part is it has even more features than my landline at no additional charge (Call Waiting, Caller ID, Call Forwarding, Call Transfer, Voice Mail that emails your message to your email address, and much more) and it is 10 cheaper for unlimited calling. It can even ring my cell phone at the same time as my home phone.

There are some drawbacks:

1. Internet or power goes out - no service (It will detect that my phone is down and automatically forward calls in that situation to my cell)
2. I had to get a new phone number (however some numbers can be transferred)
3. DSL users can't cancel their phone and keep DSL (I don't think...I have cable)
4. 911 is routed to a non-emergency local number, but it still works
   

But so far I am sold. As long as I have my cell as back up I think the dramatic cost savings is worth it.

Interested? Check it out:
Vonage
CNET Reviews of VOiP Services
E-mail me if you want more info, or if you want a free month of service to try it out. (Current users can recommend a friend and give them a free month to try it.)

Dane Cook - The Onion A.V. Club | Say Something Funny

An essay by comedian Dane Cook for the Onion A.V. Club.

The Onion A.V. Club | Say Something Funny:

Sorry Everybody

Unbelievable. Kind of a cool idea.

Sorry Everybody

And Sweden is to blame

Well, my theory is blown to crap....

I apologize in advance for a maudlin post. I rarely discuss things that don't have a humorous edge to them but really nothing seems funny today.

I am just shocked that Americans would "re-elect" Bush. I understand the fundamental differences between Republicans and Democrats. I have friends that lie all over the gamut in political philosophy and I respect where they are coming from most of the time. However, no matter how you look at it Bush has done a horrible job in his tenure. The economy is crap, Iraq is an abominable mess, The country is in pain and his administration is directly responsible.

No incumbent president in history has ever entered an election with and approval rating as low as Bush's and been re-elected.

So Why?

Well, I of course have a theory. The American public has been reeling ever since 9/11. People have been scared and instead of making anyone feel safe, the administration has done all it can to prolong that fear and then say the fear is real and the only one who can protect them is the Bush administration.

It is just like "Stockholm Syndrome". This is the phenomenon of when hostages end up feeling an affinity for their captors. They often end up refusing to testify against their captors and may even help them escape in the end. In essence, realize it or not, America has been held hostage by the Bush administration with misinformation, trumped up reports, and the mantra of a safer America with Bush. And our electorate has fallen for it.

It is the only scenario that makes sense that a traditionally unforgiving public forgive the mismanagement that has been rampant over the last few years. Sure, there will always be devout conservatives who are more concerned with the abortion debate or making sure that the wealthiest among us pay less in taxes. But this war is so unpopular among so many people, re-election doesn't make sense until you look at the Stockholm phenomena.

So four more years...and a lame duck status and control of the House, Senate, and perhaps more of the Supreme Court. There is absolutely nothing holding him back. I am afraid for the college aged people I work with. I hope that a military draft stays out of the picture, but for the first time I am pretty nervous that it will surface. I am concerned that more lives will be committed to securing oil rich states in the name of fighting terrorism. But mostly I am concerned that this is now our undoing as a nation. Prior to this election, I felt the American public was not to blame for the loose cannon antics by an administration not genuinely elected into office. But now, we all own this. And this election has divided us and it will get worse. I know we will all be paying the price for generations to come.

BBC NEWS Electoral College Map

For those of you following at home. This map of the electoral votes is as cool as it gets. Leave it to the British!

Ian

BBC NEWS

Bush Loses...by a huge margin

I stand by this headline even though the pools have yet to open. How can I be so sure. Well, I attribute it to what I have learned as a Red Sox fan.

For my whole life, growing up in New England, I have believed in two things:

1.) At the beginning of every season, that this will be the year that the Red Sox will win the World Series
2.) The Yankees suck.

Now over the course of my 32 years, the facts to support these truisms have ebbed and flowed. It has not been until this year with the Sox taking the championship after beating the Yanks, that these two statements have been unequivocally been proven true. And it is retroactive, meaning that the years that the Red Sox finished not even close to the lead in the pennant race and the Yankees led the division, don't count. 2004 proved that we will win the World Series and that the Yankees suck.

So how does that relate to the current election? Well, keep the above scenario in mind. First of all Bush and a candidate that is not Bush (Gore in 2000, Kerry in 2004). Now, in 2000 Bush was appointed President even though he lost the popular election. He used all means available to make sure he won. He used all resources available to him(money, his brother the governor of Florida, etc.) to make sure he had an unfair advantage over his opponent. This is much like Steinbrenner and the Yankees. Just Like George W., George S. has used all his resources to assemble a team that on paper far surpasses the competition. He will stop at nothing to win.

So here we have the next election, and already there are reports of manipulating the voting system are being reported. And although close, the candidate that is not Bush (Kerry) is behind in the poles. So being a Red Sox fan, and facing mounting evidence that W will once again claim the title that he has manipulated in to getting, I dig down deep and say the political equivalent to "The Red Sox will win the World Series this year" and go on record and "Kerry will win the election"

Authors caveat: It is hard for me to compare Kerry to the Red Sox as I am by no means a fan of Kerry's. It took all my strength to cast my vote for him. But my fear of another 4 years with W won over my want of voting for a 3rd party candidate. If Kerry had perhaps shown any of the heart of the Red Sox (or for that manner showed any passion at all for his vision for a future) I might be able to get excited to vote for him. But I will settle for Bush losing.

Hobbits?

The New York Times > Science > New Species Revealed: Tiny Cousins of Humans

"Yankees at the Bat"

Red Sox fans: check out this prose by Peter David.

Ian

IFILM - Television: Jon Stewart's Brutal Exchange with CNN Host

There is nothing I can say to comment on this, except that everything I hear Jon Stewart say I agree with. Check out this appearance on "Crossfire".

IFILM - Television: Jon Stewart's Brutal Exchange with CNN Host

Red Sox fever

I am by no means a sports fan.

I say that with an appreciation and respect for those of you who are. I can understand an interest for something that borderlines obsession. My friends who enjoy sports can recite statistics, place first in their fantasy league, and play armchair quarterback with the best of them.

While I have my many interests, the minutiae of sports has never been one of them. I have to admit that at one time I resented sports and their ability to negatively impact my life. During football season, my friends were no where to be found on Sundays. Baseball interrupted the new television season.

However, that has slowly changed over the years. College opened the door for football, as it was inescapable. I then starting turning to Patriots games while I was in North Carolina for a glimpse of home. One of my friends was a huge sports fans as well as an avid video gamer so he introduced me to the narcotic effect of Madden on the PS2.

Well now I am back and things have definitely changed. I am routinely tuning in to see the Patriots break the consecutive wins record. But maybe the most exciting is seeing the Red Sox come back from a 3-0 deficit in the ALCS and force a game 7.

While not being a lifetime sports fan, but being a huge rooter for any underdog, I have been a lifetime fan of the Red Sox. I go into every season believing that the Red Sox will win their pennant and World Series every year.

However, I am not sure if I am cut out for this. First of all, with games averaging about 4 hours this post season (Actually seeing a game just shy of 6 last night), all my spare time has been used up. Projects have been put on the back burner as hours have been spent on the couch. Second, my heart can't take it. I am hanging on every pitch, and as the Sox move closer to the winning the division and advancing to the World Series, I become more steadfast in my belief that they will win. Past experience tells me I should steel myself for a loss, but I can't do it.

So, I give in. While I will never be able to talk stats with the diehards, I am starting to appreciate the excitement of the competition. ESPN will not be programmed as a "favorite channel", but I now can hold my own with office sports chatter. Besides if the Red Sox can win against the Yankees, a team that has every advantage going into this series, doesn't that mean that there is hope for all of us who have had to work hard to achieve what we want out of life? To me there is no better analogy of overcoming adversity today than the Red Sox/Yankees matchup that has been consuming my week.

Now that is what I call reality TV.

Carolina In My Mind

Two years ago I left Wilmington, North Carolina to move a little closer to my family. I spent 2 years in Virginia going to school and then 3 in Wilmington working at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. To be honest, I never anticipated being away from my family that long. Five years is a long time, although looking back it doesn't seem that long. Moving away from Wilmington was bittersweet at best. I became very close with my friends there (many of them had relocated to Wilmington as well). I think that in a sense a surrogate family formed because we were all so far away from home, starting our first jobs out of grad. school. I had already assumed I would never have friends like the ones I made in college, but the people I met in Wilmington are some of my closest friends.

I was the first to leave and that was tough for me. I hated the fact that while I never intended to move so far away from home, it was so difficult to leave this place. My leaving was rough on my friends, too. I think we were all getting restless for a change of scenery. Wilmington is a phenomenal place to live for a young person. It is a small city, located on the ocean with a thriving film industry. However, it seems isolated to someone who grew up in New England with major cities (NY and Boston) nearby along with small communities scattered in between. Basically if what you needed wasn't in Wilmington, then it would be a two hour drive to Raleigh to find it. So after three years there, homesickness was starting to sink in. Every trip home made returning to Wilmington harder. My friends were going through the same thing. It also didn't help that I was getting restless in my job. I loved working there but I was antsy for new responsibilities and a new setting. So when a job presented itself back home, the decision to move was made. However, it wasn't an easy one. I would be the first of my friends to actually do it. If you know me, you know I have a phobia of being left out of any good time, and man we had had some good times.

So why this trip down Melancholy Lane? This Wednesday I am flying to Wilmington for the first time since leaving. My friend Shannon has flown to see me 4 or 5 times since I left and I am past due to visit her. She has very nicely put her foot down and pointed out it is time for me to visit her. While I am so excited to see her and the rest of the wonderful people that I met there, I am anxious, because you really can't go home again. Of our group of friends, only Shannon remains. In a lot of ways I don't want to ruin the sense of nostalgia that I have for the place. However, the chance to see my friends out weighs the trepidation I feel.

So Wilmington, be warned. I am coming back, let the debauchery begin.

Reasons to switch to the Mozilla Firefox browser

Firefox has released the best version of it's browser yet. I am telling you will change how you surf the web. Need reason's why? Check this article out. Ready to make the switch? Click on the button below.



Reasons to switch to the Mozilla Firefox browser

P.S. It is a 4.5 MB download and it is easy to install. Tabbed browsing is the way to go.

VOTE or NOT - $200,000 Sweepstakes

Wanna win $100,000? Just follow the link to find out how. Make sure you follow this link which is coded to me, because if you win, I win and that would make me very happy.

VOTE or NOT - $200,000 Sweepstakes

Summer Mourning

The summer is over and I haven't had a chance to mourn it. Busy helping my students put on their Dane Cook concert, Homecoming weekend, and just the general excitement of a new school year.

Excuse the self-indulgence, but I thought a list of what this summer held for me would be appropriate to record:

• Spending time with my family (especially my sister) at folk festivals (Clearwater and Falcon Ridge). Bands discovered (Eddie from Ohio, Guy Davis, Dar Williams, Sonia, Toshi Reagon, Vance Gilbert, Girlyman)
  
• My entry into Blogging
• Many trips to the beach (but it never seems enough)
• Movies seen in the theatre (Spiderman 2, Dodgeball, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, The Bourne Supremacy, Garden State) Wow, that is a short list!
• Books read (Dress Your Family in corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris, Reread 3 Harry Potter books) Again I usually average 8 over the summer, too short a list!
• Taking my friends new boat out on the CT. river.
• Camping
• Trip to Cape Cod to see family that wasn't there.
• 2 weeks in RI with my parents, being a total sloth.
• Cancer walk marathon - 2:00 am - 4:00 am shift

All in all a pretty good list, but next year I think I will make a list prior to summer, because in May there was so much I wanted to do, but now I realize that I didn't get it all in.

It was a great summer, but over way too quickly.

A long time ago...

I remember being 7 years old and my dad taking me to see a movie. Back then, he was working as an airplane engine machinist, working second shift. Money back then was tight, so the rare occasions that my parents took us to the movies, it was a drive-in where we were charged by the car and not by the person.

But this was different. It was just me and my dad, and it was a surprise to me. I think we went to Cinema City in Hartford. To be honest the memories blur into the cloudiness of a dream, but I remember the feeling of that day and it is one of a thousand memories since then that makes me value my relationship with my dad.

I don't know why, but this memory has always been a favorite to me. Just two guys going to the movies. (I just did the math and he was 31 at the time. I am older now then he was then.)

The movie was Star Wars and it was released on DVD today. While all Star Wars geeks are getting bashed for obsessing on a movie that is 30 years old, I would like to go on record that for me it has never been about Death Stars and Light Sabres (although they are cool!), but about connecting with my dad for perhaps the first time as his son.

For a more universal view of the movie, check out this entry on We're Taking Bets That...

Yahoo! News - MySpace Basks in R.E.M. 'Sun'

For me there are a few bands that hold revered status in my catalogue. U2 is up there, as well as Peter Gabriel, The Police, Bareneked Ladies. These are the biggies (and I already have a list of new to me bands that will be there soon). However, R.E.M. is the first band I really got into. Do you know what I am talking about? The bands that cause an obsession to have every album. I remember pay days from Baskin Robbins. I would cash that check and buy a missing cd. And then play it, and play it, and play it. I would try to figure out what every little lyric meant.

Well R.E.M. has an album (Around the Sun) being released Oct. 5. Guess what I will be doing that day. I would like to apologize in advance to my co-workers for the cd being on repeat all day.

If you would like to hear their album in advance, check out Myspace.com.

Yahoo! News - MySpace Basks in R.E.M. 'Sun'

Free advertising for blogs :: BlogSnob

I know many of my readers are also bloggers. I just discovered this cool new service to help advertise your site. It is totally free and I think will help increase your traffic. Check it out!

Free advertising for blogs :: BlogSnob

Check It Out: "The World's Shortest Blog"

I think the greatest impact of weblogging is the ability for giving everyone a voice and an audience to rally around that voice. The revolution may not be televised, but it sure will be logged on individual's web sites.

The World's Shortest Blog

The Complaint Dept.

I woke up yesterday morning, tired. Some weeks I just won't let the weekend go, desperately clinging to it by staying up into the wee hours. This weekend was better than most, with a visit from my friend gmad, a trip to the UConn vs. Duke football game, and some of the best weather that reaffirmed my love of falls in New England. So needless to say, I stayed up way too late. I faced Monday and the craziness that this week will be work wise with more than a little trepidation.

To add injury to insult, my back started to throb as I was getting ready Monday morning. It was a weird pain and I couldn't figure out why it was hurting me, because the most strenuous activity I had been involved in was being a little rowdy at the football game. I decided to attribute it to a weird sleeping injury (or, as my mind tends to work, a life threatening ailment) and to suck it up and get to work.

By the time I got to work, I was feeling very uninspired (read: crabby) to be there. I sulked into my office without the normal jovial manner that has come to be normal for me. My boss picked up on it immediately: "What is wrong with you today?"

Delighted with the attention, I told her that my back was killing me. She sympathized and, feeling a little better with the empathy, I went back to my office. Now my curse (or maybe it is a blessing) is that I telegraph every little feeling I am experiencing on my face, so soon everyone was asking if anything was wrong. So I would tell them my back hurt and would relish in the attention that would generate.

"Oh, do you have a heating pad?"
"That has happened to me, not fun!"
"You should be at home!"

And with each of these comments, I felt a sense of pride. Why I should be at home, nursing my back, yet I am here because the students need me! This is homecoming week, no time to rest. If I end up paralyzed or perhaps even dead, at least the week will have been a success! Despite the pain, I was really enjoying putting on a brave face.

During the course of the morning, our new staff person came in to my office to talk about a project she is working on. Now, my coworker is an amateur triathelete, who is known for spending her free time training and being the opposite of a couch potato. Really the opposite of me and my personal philosophy of only running when chased. About a minute into our conversation (just before I was to launch into my back pain diatribe) I noticed a bandage emerging from her shirt sleeve.

"What is that?" I inquired.

"Oh well yesterday I attempted my first 'century ride'. You know a hundred mile bike ride. During the ride, my tire caught an old train track and I went sailing. I have a few scratches on the right side of my body." She then exposed to me the horrific results of her injuries up and down her arm. She said her leg is bad as well. She indicated that she was disappointed that it happened on her 51st mile.

"Oh, because you didn't make the 100 miles?", I asked.

"No, I rode 108 miles. It just made the last 50 uncomfortable."

Our meeting ended, and knowing I had been trumped, I never mentioned my back again for the rest of the day.

Of course, your realize, this means war....

All I can say about this is:

GAME ON!

The Time Travel Fund[tm]

OK, I consider myself a rational, relatively intelligent individual. I read on someone else's blog about this site and I was intrigued. Talk about circular logic. I found myself considering participating just in case the impossible happens and they are legit. Then I came to my senses. Just to prove that the internet gives everyone a voice. It is how they use that voice that I find the most amusing.

The Time Travel Fund[tm]

Yahoo! News - Kevin Smith Clocks in for 'Clerks' Sequel

Well this is the best news I have heard all day. Kevin Smith is returning to the basics. I can't wait for this film.

Ian

Read about it on Kevin Smith's website: NewsAskew



Yahoo! News - Kevin Smith Clocks in for 'Clerks' Sequel

Paying an old debt...

God this summer has gone by fast. I was excited to see my students come back last week, but it was bittersweet as it signals the end of my chance to breathe.

However the fall is looking great, and I am scheduling a trip to visit my friend Shannon in North Carolina in October. This visit is long over due, as she has been up to visit me 5 times since I left NC 2 years ago and this will be my first visit back to see her. As much as I was excited to move back home, leaving Shannon in Wilmington was very difficult. I am really glad we have stayed as close as we are.

Because I am in a Shannon state of mind, I am finally going to relate a story here that I owe her. Shannon, hope you like it. You waited long enough for it.

One morning, in fall of last year I woke up to a scratching at my window. Scratching noises are not that uncommon as at the time I was pretty sure a squirrel had gotten into a crawlspace above my apartment. I would usually hear little feet scrambling back and forth in the crawl space and quickly learned to tune it out.

This morning the sound was different. It was definitely coming from the window just to the right of my head. I have venetian blinds that were closed. I have to admit I was freaked out as I turned the rod to open the blinds. Half expecting to see a floating decapitated head gnawing at the screen to get in, I was relieved to see that it was only the squirrel, clinging to my window screen. The squirrel however, was freaked out. So much so that he took a giant piss on the outside of my window. My window was bombarded with a yellow stream and I think I stood there laughing for quite awhile.

Can't wait to see you!

Ian

Kevin Smith - Jersey Girl and Clerks X

Here is an interview with Kevin Smith about the 10th anniversary of Clerks.

Kevin Smith - Jersey Girl and Clerks X

Hostile Elders - The Evidence

As requested, here are photos to give you an accurate picture of the situation between my neighbor and I. You be the judge.

As you can see in pictures A,B,&C I am (the jeep) very far away from her car. She has chosen to park on the line to ensure that I can't encroach on it.


Picture A


Picture B


Picture C

As you can see in picture D that I am very close to impeding on the walkway. She wants me to move even further away from her car. Madness, I tell you!


Picture D

Garden State

I really love movies. One of the things that I have really gotten out of the habit of since moving back to New England is going to the movies. In North Carolina, I would go multiple times a month. In Massachusetts, I am lucky to go once a month. I chalk up the reason to 4 things:

1. Much less to do in N.C.
2. Have not found anyone who enjoys going to the movies as much as I do (there seem to be always someone willing to see whatever in NC).
3. Movies are freaking expensive around here ($9.25).
4. Although not a huge factor, have seen a run off crappy movies.
   

Well, things are looking up. My new co-worker, her roommate, and 2 others from work went and saw Garden State tonight. Fantastic movie. I highly recommend you go see it this weekend. It is written, directed and stars Zach Braff from Scrubs. I am not a huge follower of that show, but what I have seen, I think is funny. It is well written and well acted. I put it in the ranks of Say Anything, and very few movies get compared to that film by me.

So if you can find Garden State in a theatre near you, go check it out. It is very good. You would be hard pressed to find a better film out there right now.

Zach Braff's Garden State Blog

Hostile Elders

I am in a long standing feud with my neighbor. I know I am in danger of looking like an ass, but I am going to risk it and give the details. I live in a condo that I rent. They are set up like traditional apartments but have private owners. With the condo, I have two assigned parking spaces. I keep my car in the space nearest my apartment. In my second space, which is across the street, my sister has left her jeep there because all she has is on street parking, which is a hassle.

Now my secondary space is the last one in it's row. The space borders another spot in one side, and a walkway on the other. There is one yellow line separating my space from the next. As the history goes, 2 Christmases ago, it snowed late in the day. My parents decided to crash at my place rather then trekking back to RI in the snow. This is prior to my sister using the space, so they parked there. When they pulled into the spot, there was heavy accumulation of snow so they did there best guess as to where my spot actually was.

The next morning I get up to move their car and this little old lady chases after me, yelling that I had blocked her in. She also went on to say that I had no business parking there because these were reserved private spaces.

I apologized, but also pointed out that it was snowing when we parked and we did our best to park in the space. I also corrected her on the ownership issue and said that I rarely use the space. I then wished he happy holidays and drove away.

The next incident happened a few months later. Again my parents visited. This time they made sure to leave a wide berth between cars. When they went to retrieve the car, a sign was meticulously taped to the window, indicating that her Honda Civic has wide doors and that the car was parked in a manner that didn't allow her to open her doors fully. She then pointed out that she was elderly and handicapped. I went out to examine the car and I swear to you that there was a 4 foot gap between the two cars. More than enough room to open her door fully. So I chalked it up to crankiness and went about my day.

The next incident really started the feud. My sister left the jeep there and about a week later I get a call from my landlord that the condo property management and said they received a complaint from this woman that their was an abandoned jeep in the parking lot and she wanted towed. Since it was my spot Management called my landlord and asked if the car belonged to me. My landlord called me to see if it was my car. I informed her it was and then ran over to the management office to explain that the jeep was mine and it would be there for a while. Management explained to me that of course it was fine to park the car in the spot, but the woman had been making such a fuss and insisting that a. it was too close to her spot, and b. it didn't belong to the owner of the spot that it should be towed. The manager went out, saw that there was plenty of room, but decided to make sure the vehicle was actually supposed to be there. I explained that she has been complaining to me for a while and they said, without going into detail, that they receive a lot of various complaints from her on a variety of topics. So I put it out of my mind.

A month later, a note is on my door, basically calling me unreasonable for not moving my car further away from her spot. How can I be so mean to the elderly? Now I swear the jeep can not move further away with out impeding someone using the walkway and I refuse to park on the walkway itself. So I let it go.

This week, the parking lots are going to be professionally cleaned, so we are supposed to move our cars to the street . (My condo has the most stringent parking rules I have seen. It is almost impossible to have 2 cars, because in the winter, your car needs to move at the last drop of snow following a storm so the lots can be plowed. This is fine unless I am away or say at work. Since there is a street parking ban during snow storms, this makes finding a place for the car difficult. But I digress..) I move the car as instructed. When I go to move it back that evening, my neighbor has parked with her two wheels in my spot! I know this is to make me park the jeep further away, but I still am able to park it with out going onto the walkway. I know this has pissed her off because I am sure she thought she would force my hand, but no! The elderly are no match for my parking ability or my stubbornness streak that borders on obnoxiousness!

A Very Happy Birthday.....

To my Sister, who 29 years ago today, was placed on earth to be not only my best audience but also my biggest tormentor.

Thanks for always being there. I love you!

Ian

Touche!

I have been paying very little attention to the Olympics. I am not very sports minded and most athletic events bore me. Make the sporting event last two weeks and root canal surgery is looking like a pretty good alternative. I do however tune in every once in awhile to see if there is any major developments that I should be aware of. Usually this is not who won or lost, but injury footage, major scandal, etc.

In my daily update, I did see the women's saber competition (fencing). Now, I had always associated fencing with Errol Flynn movies, or for our younger readers, Inigo Montoya in "The Princess Bride".
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die."

Lance and parry for a while and then disarm your opponent doing that cool twirling of your sword. This apparently is not the Olympic version. Basically it is thrust you sword at your opponent and hopefully touch them before they touch you. Each round last on average .8 seconds. Basically, it is an Olympic version of "Not it". God knows I have no room to judge, but man that is a lot of paraphanalia and hoopla for glorified "Slap Jack".

Boston.com / News / Odds & ends / Bear drinks 36 cans of favorite beer

Boston.com / News / Odds & ends / Bear drinks 36 cans of favorite beer

Even a bear knows that Busch Beer is pretty much undrinkable.

We're taking bets that...

We're taking bets that...

It is official, "We're Taking Bets That..." is back and I am sure it will finally hit a nerve with the American public and become a sensation.

In college, my good friend Greg Madrid published a column for the school paper entitled "We're Taking Bets That..." that was very popular. When he graduated the column ceased to exist. However, he has launched a web version and given back the column's voice.

Check it out!

Call to Inaction

One week down on my vacation and I am feeling very relaxed. I tell you, two weeks is the way to go. After one week, you are just getting into the groove of doing whatever you want. You need the second week to really enjoy it. It takes work to get into the hedonistic frame of mind!

So anyways, I think I could get into the beach lifestyle. Why aren't more independently wealthy people beach bums? It certainly seems to me to be the way to go. In American life, there is shame in not being productive in a day. Whenever I ask someone how there day was, I often get a standard response of, "Great, I cleaned the house, did the groceries, mowed the lawn, etc." When I am asked that question and answer, "Great, I did nothing all day." I get a follow up of "Why, are you ill?" It seems to be totally unacceptable to lay around all day. Except at the beach.

As soon as you hear that someone spent the day at the beach, there can be no expectation that there was something accomplished, with the exception of flipping over to even out your tan. The same people who look at you like you are a waste of space for being a slug on your couch are the ones who are the most envious and congratulatory for lying all day at the shore.

Let me further prove this to be true. At the "House on Stilts", my family will wander down to the beach while I will hang back to spend my day on the porch. While I love being at the beach, I am not a huge fan of putting on sunscreen, laying in the sand, baking in the sun. I don't hate it, but the porch on HOS has the afore mentioned daybed, so I can do exactly the same activities without the mess and with a fully stocked fridge. If the fan on the porch is not doing it's job, I can still run down for a dip in the ocean. However, I get more crap for not going through the ritual.

So I ask why this double standard? Why is it socially acceptable to do absolutely nothing while cooking in the sun, but to do it anywhere else, you are just lazy? Well I for one am not going to take it anymore! In the tradition of "sit-ins" I call for a "sleep-in" to demonstrate the hypocrisy of the beach minded! Who is with me? Snore loudly in solidarity!

LA Weekly: Columns: Deadline Hollywood: Do You IMDB?

LA Weekly: Columns: Deadline Hollywood: Do You IMDB?

The Internet Movie Database is a resource I utilize daily. For anyone who considers themselves a student of Pop Culture, the IMDB is a valuable resource. This article lays down a history of a successful .com start up.

Free signed Cerebus

Free Cerebus Offer

Neil Gaiman has posted a way to get a free Sandman parody of Cerebus (You have to scroll down the page to get to the details. Back my former life of a geeky comic collector (as opposed to the geeky guy I am today) I used to love both Sandman (or anything else conceived by Gaiman) and Cerebus so I am sure that it is a great issue. Cerebus' creator Dave Sim will even autograph it for you! All you need to do is send him a letter requesting a copy and why he should send you one and he will send and even includes the postage. Truly a free offer.

I guess he wants to see, in the age of the internet who would bother sending a letter via snail mail. To be honest that interests me as well, so I am spreading the word.

Here is the info that can be found at the link above:

Amongst many other things, in Dave Sim's Cerebus (which is a story that took Dave and his partner-in-art Gerhard 300 issues to tell) he did, in the Women storyline, easily the best parody of Sandman anyone's ever done, as various members of the Cerebus cast of characters become Snuff, Swoon and the rest of the Clueless. It was wickedly funny, and had the author of Sandman curling his toes when he read it.

Dave Sim has made an extremely generous offer to readers of this journal (and indeed, to readers not of this journal, but just people who simply hear about his offer elsewhere on the Internet. Memes propagate, after all), which is the kind of offer that I found as interesting as he did. It's this:

If you'd like to read one of the Sandman parody issues of Cerebus, Dave will send you one. He'll send it to you very happily, free of charge. He will sign it for you, too. And he won't charge you a thing. Not even postage.

And if you're wondering what the catch is, it's this: Dave wants to know (as, I have to admit, do I) how many of the people out there in internet-land will actually go and do things that don't involve passively clicking on a link and going somewhere interesting. So what you have to do is write Dave a letter (not an e-mail. Dave doesn't have e-mail) telling him that you read that he'll send you a signed Cerebus, and telling him why you'd like him to send you a copy. It's as easy as that. And, quite possibly as difficult.

The address to write to is:

Aardvark Vanaheim, Inc
P.O. Box 1674 Station C
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada N2G 4R2

Dave, I suspect, thinks he'll get a handful of requests. In my more pessimistic moments, I think he's right, although I'd love it if he got deluged with letters, like those kids in hospitals who don't exist but are still collecting postcards...

This ends the geek portion of Me Talk Pretty. We now return you to the regular, self-indulgent prattle that can normally be found here!

-The Mngmt.

House on Stilts

When I was 15, my parents announced that my grandparents were thinking of selling their cottage on a lake in CT and buy a beach cottage in Rhode Island. Before they did it, they wanted the whole family to check it out, as it would be for all of us.

I can't remember what I said at 15, but I am sure I wasn't adamant one way or another. However, now that I am 32, I probably would have had a harder time now giving up Amston Lake. At 15, I had no idea that my grandparents were slowly declining in heath and would eventually stop making the trek to Rhode Island. Growing up, my sister and I spent a lot of time with my mother's parents since they lived down the street. In the summer, when other kids went to day camp, we stayed with my grandparents at the lake and my parents would commute there after work (it was only 45 minutes away from where we lived). Over the last 10 years I have lost both my grandfather and grandmother and the lake house serves as the backdrop to so many of the great memories I have of them.

But the lake cottage was sold and we entered the world of Roy Carpenter's beach. To really get a sense of what this is, I need to give a history. Now I have no idea if this history is true, because I can't remember who told me the story, but it fits so I hold it as gospel. Apparently back in the '30s, the site of Roy Carpenter's was a fishing community. The fishermen would set up huge army tents (like from MASH) for the season and use them as shelters. As time went on, foundations were made for under the tent, then the tents themselves were replaced with four walls and a ceiling. Today, these cottages are owned by individuals but the land they are on are leased through beach fees. There are about a couple hundred units all the same dimensions (because of their origins). There is plumbing for sinks and showers only, but you have to use a community bathroom. The insides vary, but none have more that a couple of rooms. This is not luxury living, but it is right on the water and for a family who lived paycheck to paycheck, it was (and is) paradise.

Our cottage is definitely one of the older ones, and while it is in good condition, it pales to our neighbor's houses as most of them have been renovated within the last decade, with vinyl siding and new decks. As with anything in the Martin family, it looks well used and I imagine we are the cottage that sets the low end bar for the neighborhood. But what we lack in aesthetics, we make up for in rockin good times, so they can all go screw!

As for me, I find this a small oasis where I can go and totally relax. As I write this, I am there now on a two week vacation. I had every intention to do a little traveling and visit my friends in the south, but finances and the irresistible call of the porch and the day bed that I have claimed was too much to resist (on a side note apparently Hurricane Alex paid a visit to Wilmington, NC which is where I was headed. Dodged that!). My last week at work, I found myself to be cranky. It had been too long since I had more than a day or two to hang out at the cottage. It is Tuesday of my first week of vacation and I am already a new man.

I am very glad my grandparents had the forethought to invest in this little house on the southern end of Rhode Island. It really is a focal point in my family, where we all meet when we can to enjoy each other's company. I know one day, I will bring my kids here and hopefully they will have the same experiences with my parents as I had at the lake house with my grandparents.

Until that time, the day bed is mine. I think I will go take a nap.

Folk you, too

So last Thursday my sister, her friend Gina and I loaded up the car with camping gear and headed to the Falcon Ridge Folk festival. Now if you haven't read my post on Folk festivals, you might want to get caught up to speed. Held in the small town of Hillsdale, NY, Falcon Ridge is four days of bands, dancing, and entertainment held on the Long Hill Farm.

You can camp on site if you choose to (which I think the majority of people do), but my nasty habit of showering at least once a day made the state campground(with hot showering facilities) four miles away seem just a little more appealing. The farm is huge and has a huge sloping hill rising up from the barn area. The festival stages and vendors are set up at the base of the hill and the tents are relegated to the top of the hill. As we approached the entrance to the festival all we could see is hundreds of tents set up. It looked like a scene from Braveheart, an army of tents cresting over the top of a hill swarming to overthrow the tiny village at the bottom.

But I digress. Before getting to the farm, the three of us made our way to the campground and starting setting up two tents. Two of them because over the course of the weekend there would be seven of us total. My sister Thea, her husband Brian, her friend Gina, her other friend Scotty, my parents and me. So we would eventually need 3 tents to accommodate everyone. We may have needed more but my friends would rather have root canal surgery then to A.) Camp, B.) Spend even an hour at a folk festival.

We finished erecting the tent at about 2:00 pm. It was very hot work and a swim was in order. We changed and headed down to the ole swimming hole (insert Andy Griffith's whistling them here). Apparently this "lake" was an old ore quarry that had been filled with water. You had to lower yourself in from a dock into eight feet of water. About 20 feet from this dock was a platform in the middle of the lake. The depth was there was labeled 40 feet. I found that to be amazing that it would be so deep so quickly.

The water was refreshing, but we were anxious to get on our way. The music really started at 5:00 and we wanted to scout the place out. So we changed, loaded the car and set off.

The evening was nice, but not my favorite bands of the festival. I had high hopes for Mark Erelli but he let me down. He sings with a countryish band called the Spurs and lost me when he sung a song that was about making a baby. It had a lyric about his wife's biological clock. Our group agreed that that should not be in any song. I felt bad for his wife, actually.

So we headed back to camp at around 9:00.

Friday

My sister and Gina wanted to get contra dancing lessons. This festival will always be remembered as the festival that introduced me to the social oddity of contra dancing. What is contra dancing? This page should give you a good definition, but it is long. Let me see if I can sum it up. Basically it is square dancing...for hippies...and awkward men of all ages who leer at women. At least this seems to be the demographic. Apparently there are people who travel to Falcon Ridge Folk Festival, not for the music but for these dances. We met people from all over the country who traveled just for this. So I was intrigued. Enough to watch. Of course you can't just watch. Oh no! I would have been happy to sit there and make mental notes to write up here, but no the next hour and a half would be spent dancing.

Now I am no dancer and this exercise proved that, but curiosity and pressure from my cohorts got the better of me and the next thing I know I am in a line doing things called "the gypsy" and "skater's promenade".

When my dignity had been thoroughly stomped into the ground, I excused myself for some breakfast. As I was eating in the concession tent, the sky turned black. Thea and Gina found me and prepared to weather a storm. Leave it to the Martin's to find the one dry place with plenty of food to find shelter in. The sky's opened up and for the next five hours, a rain storm that religious people would describe as biblical descended upon Hillsdale. We waited out the storm for 2 and a half hours before taking advantage of a break to move over to the dance tent. ( the only other dry place we could find).

It was due to straight out boredom that I decided to put into practice the skills I learned in the morning session. I am not going into great detail, for fear of documenting what is potentially one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but I will say this: There was dancing involved, and I was on the receiving end of dirty glances given to me by the many dancing zealots who had no patience for my inability to figure out what the hell was going on.

After 2 dances, I limped off the floor. In my mind, I thought that perhaps I could meet a woman and impress her with my nimble dancing style. The reality was that there really only crazy dancing people and as for my skills, let me say that there were 80 year old men with two false hips and walkers who looked more natural than me.

On a side note, the most odd thing to me was apparently you need special shoes . Actually I don't think you actually need them, but apparently the die hard dancers acquire them in some sort of right of passage. Let me just say that there is nothing so odd looking as a festival goer in clothes straight out of Woodstock, wearing these fancy black jazz dancing shoes or wing tipped dress shoes where clearly Birkenstocks should be.

After another hour, our group decided it was time to head to our campsite to assess the damage that the rain may have caused to our tents. Luckily there was none, and waiting for us was Scotty, who is one of the funniest people I know. So the day was looking up.

Just to give my audience a glimpse of the genius of Scotty: There is an Irish Pub my family frequents and on the weekends is a troupe of musicians who do traditional Irish songs. They take requests. Well, Scotty puts in a request for "Copa Cabana". Unfortunately I wasn't there for this, but the story goes that the whole bar goes dead silent. To this day, that story is legend in our family. This is one of the many reasons why Scotty is always welcome to any Martin outing.

Thea and I decided to forgo the rest of the day's musical events and get a hot dinner in town and wait for my parents and brother-in-law to arrive.

Saturday

We woke up to clouds but by noon the sun was shining and the temperature was comfortable. The whole group hung out at our blanket and enjoyed some great groups. My favorites included:

Richard Shindell
Vance Gilbert
Lowen & Navarro

but the two groups who stole the day were Eddie from Ohio and Girlyman. Both groups had a great stage presence and solid musical ability. For me, finding new bands to like is what makes these things fun.

The night was chilly but we toughed it out so that my parents could see Richie Havens. I had heard of him, but was pretty ignorant to his musical contributions. Apparently he wrote a lot of songs that I associate with other artists (All Along the Watchtower). We stayed for 3 songs and then called it a night (It was 12:30 am)

Sunday

The last day found us a little short in patience and having to get up early to break down our camp site. We did this without much incident and made our way to the festival. We got there at 11:00 am for the annual Gospel Wake up call featuring Eddie From Ohio, Girlyman, Mark Erelli & Vance Gilbert. It was great!

We then had a few more acts but none of them really did it for me. It was getting pretty hot and we were thinking of heading out. Thea and I decided we wanted to see a workshop featuring Eddie from Ohio with John Gorka & Girlyman. Truly the best offering of the festival. They ended with "The Weight (Take a Load off Annie)" and it was great. I knew it was time to head home.

All in all, I think Falcon Ridge is a great experience, but I am not sure what it would be like if all 4 days were sweltering. This year's Clearwater is the festival I will compare all others and I know That is one I will be returning to next year. I suspect I will also be at both Falcon Ridge and Newport next year if the line up warrants the ticket price.

Ian

Oh, and if you want a more sincere account of the festival, check out the following links:

Reading (for Dummies)
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
Andrea Coller's Blog

Put me in, coach!

I woke this morning with a sore arm, making typing difficult. I guess six and a half hours of Wiffle Ball will do that. The games started at 3:00 and went to 9:30, pausing only for a quick dinner break. When it became dark, utility lights were placed around the field making night play a possibility. I am pleased to say that in a best of five series, our team emerged the reigning champions!

Now, I am not a sports playing (or watching) individual, so any physical competition (even one as limited as wiffle ball) tends to cause slight anxiety. Sure I played about one season each of basketball, baseball, and soccer when I was a kid, but that got in the way of T.V. so I soon eliminated all organized youth sports from my agenda. The result being that if you ask me some obscure fact about a 1980's television show and I excel, but ask me to throw a little plastic ball with holes in it, well you better not expect too much (and you might be wise to seek cover).

However I held my own. I attribute this to two things: First I was fairly adept at getting a base hit, so when any of the more athletically inclined hit a home run, I had usually put a man on base, increasing our score. But really I attributed it to the alcohol being consumed. As the day wore on, I found the skill level of everyone on the field leveling out. I only had one beer, so by halfway through the game, we all looked equally pathetic.

We also pissed of the cranky next door neighbor, which was an added benefit. The neighbor is one of those poor souls who has I think outlasted or ostracized herself from all human beings in her life. My friends on multiple occasions have helped her out with tasks (mowing her lawn, shovelling snow, etc.) and she has just been mean to them. She called code enforcement on a boat he had stored in his side yard, which as she found out, was perfectly legal. She did this without even bothering to first complain about it to my friends. This is just one example of the many spiteful things she has done to them. So you know, she is just a miserable human being.

Well, in preparation for the big tourny, my friend (nick named groundskeeper Willie for the day) had anticipated this. He went to Lowes and dropped $50 on supplies to erect netting to prevent long hits going in her yard. Her yard is guarded by a crotch high fence that you can step over. It is of the chain link variety. The last time he played, apparently she scolded him for stepping over the fence to retrieve the ball. She was worried about two things:

1. That he would damage the (metal) fence
2. The local "black children" (her words) would start entering her yard

Well, in addition to being just irrational, any sympathy for her condition was eliminated by her racist standpoint. As far as I was concerned, it was "Game On!".

(note: I am still wondering what any children (black or otherwise) would find appealing in her yard. Is she hoarding sweets? Does she have a "slip and slide" in her back yard? I can not figure out why she is worried that the neighborhood kids are just waiting for an opportunity to jump the fence and loiter on her property.)

So this net was extended to prevent balls from entering her yard. The net stood twelve feet high. Apparently not high enough. It was soon apparent that the net just raised the bar. On previous games the balls would clear the fence by five feet max. With the net in place, people were hitting it 10 feet higher. There is probably a metaphor in there for setting your goals high, but I will leave it at that.

Needless to say, she would come out and yell any time one of our many wiffle balls made it into her yard. We would hear a stream of profanities, followed by the balls being flung back. We then chorused a big "Thank you". Very sugary sweet.

In the end, the day was a blast. I got to reconnect with my good college friends and share some laughs. The day also reminded me that the summer is half over and that I need to get cracking if I am do half as much relaxing as I had intended for this summer. Hopefully we will get one more tourny in before the season ends.

Ian

In the spirit of baseball, I am inviting baseball themed song lists to be posted in the comment section. The intent is to have a mix tape for our next tourny. I have a few, of the obvious, but be creative!

Wiffle

The weekend is here and man, am I excited. I was very productive at
work but I am ready for vacation. Unfortunately, that is still two
weeks away, so my 2 days off will have to give me a needed break to
push through.
Besides that, it is time for the semi-annual
greater Springfield Wiffle Ball tournament. This tradition in the
making started while I was working down south and it never coincided
with my vacation. My college roommate hosts it and it serves as a
reunion of sorts. He and his wife have done some major landscaping,
which unintentionally has made his backyard perfect for a little wiffle
action.

Never the ones to be two over the top, lights will
be flown to accommodate night time playing and a net in place to stop
balls from escaping into unreachable areas.

Ian

Wiffle Ball / The Rules

"We should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians"

This seems to be the summer for reconnecting with friends from the past. I randomly recognized a poster on Kevin Smith's bulletin board as my senior prom date from high school. Actually it was only after a couple of emails back and forth and her calling me a ninny before I recognized her. She and I hadn't seen one another since we graduated 14 years ago (ok, I don't get wrapped up in age, but 14 years ago? That makes me a little queasy!). Through email, I have discovered that she seems to be doing well and likes many of the same pop culturish things that I do, so that makes her cool in my book.

She in turn connected me with another good friend that I kept up with until I moved down south after college and hadn't connected with in 5 years. He is also doing well and is married. I am corresponding via email regularly with these people and intend to keep it up.

This Internet gadget seems to be making the world an even smaller place. I think it may just catch on.

For the record...

In an uncharacteristic display of sentimentality, I would like to go on record and say that my parents are two of the most generous people out there. Not only would they sacrifice a weekend to help me out, they also got a kick out of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

If anyone is keeping track, please make a note of it.

Ian

To pee or not to pee....

I am very aware that I am writing a second post about my cats in the first month of this blog. As pathetic as that must make me seem, I am choosing to share as I have totally bored my friends and family with the details of the following dilemma. Besides they already know I am pathetic...

As a part of my morning routine, I feed the damn cats. They start getting excited as soon as I get out of the shower. They follow me to every room until I get them food. When I finally get the food for them, they just look at it and walk away like they couldn't be bothered. It is a dance that we do, and it leaves me baffled.

This morning, I realized that I did not have enough to get them through the holiday weekend. One of them, Raleigh, is on a prescription diet. You see, he is prone to not peeing. He has a condition that for any number of reasons, his urinary tract gets blocked. Of course this has only happened once. The vet said it could be caused by diet, stress, or just a fluke. So, as a result, the cat needs to be on a special, prescription only diet. I have to go to a pet pharmacist and get a 40 pound bag for $40 every few months. Short of giving the cat kitty stress balls and playing Yanni all day to create a relaxing atmosphere, the food is my best option.

Now, after discovering that I am close to being out of food for the animals, I called the pharmacist and ordered a refill. He informed me that the cat was out of refills and needed a checkup in order to get the prescription renewed. I explained that I was out, and after many promises to bring the cat in, he gave me a two week supply (which will last about a week because both cats eat the stuff. This was ok'd by the vet because Durham wouldn't leave the new food alone) The food is fattening, but Raleigh has lost weight on it while Durham, who doesn't need to eat the stuff, has ballooned. I have to ration the food or Durham would really be a house.

Since they will eat this food until the bowl is empty, I can't leave them more than 2 days at a time, making vacations very stressful. My friends all HATE cats and the closest one lives 20 minutes away so to ask them to pop in and look after them is a major inconvenience. A kennel is not option, because the stress of a new surrounding could cause a relapse. I do have an affinity for my cats, but I swear I never signed on for the neediness or the stress level this is causing.

Oh crap.... now I can't pee.

The New York Times > New York Region > In F.B.I., Innocent Detainee Found Unlikely Ally

I don't have much I want to write about on this, I am really trying to keep the blogging light. However, everyone needs to know that this is going on. Please read and then ask your self where are we headed as a country?


The New York Times > New York Region > In F.B.I., Innocent Detainee Found Unlikely Ally

The Tank

I am in mourning. I just discovered that Bess Eaton Donuts are no more. Apparently they were bought out by a Canadian company, Tim Horton's. Now for those of you who have never been to a Bess Eaton (I think they are primarily a Rhode Island chain), there are a few things you should know:

1.) Their donuts were only mediocre. They pale in comparison to Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme.

2.) Apparently they were owned by some fundamentalist Christian group who decided to spread "The Word" on every cup, napkin, and bag they handed out. So no matter what you ordered there would be a passage from the bible that you could read while you ate your donut or drank your coffee. To this day I have no idea what the correlation is between donuts and Christ are, but I am very thankful they didn't go the Ben and Jerry's route in naming their donuts. "Body of Christ, glazed" would seem a little disrespectful. But then again I am not a religious man.

So, you are probably wondering why would a New Englander care about this chain going under when you have a Dunkin Donuts every hundred yards or so? Well, Bess Eaton was home to the Tank. The Tank was 32 ounces of iced coffee. In my honest opinion, the best iced coffee available anywhere. There is something special about a chain that would market a quart of beverage that contains enough caffeine to keep you alert for 3 days straight. To keep it in proportion, 32 ounces is the same size as a big gulp at the 7/11 (another quality product, I might add!)

The fact that I can no longer get a french vanilla Tank, (light and sweet) is very sad. I became addicted to this delicacy over the couple of summers during grad school that I worked as an intern with the University of Rhode Island's orientation program. We would have to be up, ready and perky by 7:00 am. Legal stimulants were necessary to accomplish this task, so there would be a long line of orientation leaders lined up at Bess Eaton for their "Tanks" to get them ready for the day of smiles ahead.

My parents moved to Rhode Island a few years ago so my addiction has continued until this summer. I saw that every Bess Eaton had turned into a Tim Horton's. I gave Tim Horton's a chance and ordered the largest iced coffee they served (a mere 16 ounces) and a donut. The donut was even worse than a Bess Eaton donut. And the coffee, the flavor just wasn't the same and the caffeine content didn't even raise my heartbeat to the customary 120 beats per minute that was a signature "The Tank". Oh well, at least I can still go to Del's.

Yahoo! News - Cheney Utters 'F-Word' in U.S. Senate?

Prison Scandal...no reaction. Dwindling support for the war....nothing. Say something bad about Halliburton....F-Bombs the hell out of everything in site!

Yahoo! News - Cheney Utters 'F-Word' in U.S. Senate?

Netflix Fan: 90,000 DVDs. No shelves.

I am a subscriber to Netflix. If you are like me and wonder how they stock, sort and send out movies, check out netflix fan's site!

Netflix Fan: 90,000 DVDs. No shelves.

Folk you!

My sister and I set out to the Clearwater Festival. Somehow I have missed out on folk festivals. My sister has been going for years. The Newport Folk Festival has been a family tradition for the last 4 or five years thanks to her. I lived in Virginia and North Carolina in the time that this family tradition was starting, so I hadn't attended one until last August's Newport Folk Festival. However, I am fully initiated now.

You mention folk festivals to me and it used to bring up images of bad campfire music, you know "Kumbaya" and that stuff. Well thankfully it has progressed a long way. It is still very steeped in a progressive mind set, often commentating on the evils of the conservative agenda, but basically it is the music originating with a singer and a guitar and a vision that the world can be a better place. These gatherings of music and like minded people paved the way for the numerous national festivals (Lollapalooza) that have become popular.

So you would think a musical tradition so steeped in hippie love would just be a love fest, wouldn't you? Well let me tell you, it ain't. It is all about space. This was really a foreign concept to me until last year an alarm went off at 5:00 am and my sister, my father, and I headed to the Newport Folk Festival in order to wait in line to be able to be the first ones through the gate to get the best spot in front of the stage for the day. As soon as the perfect spot was located, blankets are set up, coolers strategically placed to mark boundaries. Within 15 minutes not a patch of grass in front of the stage could be seen.

After we staked our claim, the reinforcements showed up. My mother and the rest of our crew arrived as reinforcements to help protect our site. They brought the supplies that would keep us strong through the battle ahead.

We then scouted out our "neighbors". I actually hesitate to call them that. Adversaries are more like it. Like Columbus to the new world, these people are looking to conquer your area and put their claim into it. This is how most wars start; with border skirmishes. And we are supposed to be gathered in the spirit global peace and harmony. That is all well and good, but would you get your damn foot off of my blanket? No you can't put you chair there, I have been here for 10 hours. Screw you for getting here late, this is my spot!

Clearwater (a fundraiser for environmental causes) was worse than this for a couple of reasons. First it was just my sister and I so we were out numbered. But really we had inferior technology. People actually brought expandable, half shell shelters. You know what these are? Picture a nylon structure that is essentially used to create shade. Parents often use them for their kids on the beach, but here they are used in a diabolical manner: To create an unencroachable space. It was out of hand. These "good neighbors" set these things up, virtually blocking 5 rows behind them.

These five rows then form a temporary alliance, appoint an ambassador to be sent forth to negotiate. The ambassador is usually met with "But we have kids with us who will burn in the hot sun, we need it" The ambassador counters with, "Then set it up in the back, where it isn't an obstruction" There isn't really a counter argument to this, but all these people need is the "I am doing it for the kids" excuse to maintain their self-righteous outlook on the situation. It is 50/50 that they will move, but if they don't, they will have to endure a day full of thrown missiles of wrappers, stones, and twigs along with a slew of suggestions on where they can place their tent that are not as feasible (or comfortable) as the original "set it up in the back of the field" idea.

Both of these festivals are two day events so the skirmishes that began day one became all out wars day two. At Clearwater, we decided on a new strategy. The sun was hot and we both got a little burned the day before, so shade was looking good. At the back end of the field was a huge willow. We decided to forgo a prime spot at the front of the stage in order to create a command center from this willow. We then deployed a small blanket closer to the stage that we would migrate to when acts we wanted a good view were performing. Knowing that this small blanket would be left unguarded, my sister forged alliances with the neighboring "blanket states" allowing them access to the area when not in use. There has never been a better diplomatic approach to a war time scenario! People now were guarding our premium space and we were free to roam. We checked in on both spots often, so people knew we hadn't defected to another "blanket state".

The closer at Clearwater was Ani DiFranco. Ani has become a staple at festivals for 2 reasons:

1.) She is truly an awesome songwriter and performer

2.) She is a huge draw.

This means that a lot of Ani fans came just to see her. Now old school Ani fans are awesome. They knew her before she was huge and still love her. My sister is one of these people. However there is a whole generation of fans that have to be the most obnoxious breed of fans ever. These fans arrived late on the day on Sunday, so the whole dynamic changed. After a whole day of border disputes, people had negotiated whatever treaties were necessary and were finally comfortable. Then the teeny bopper Ani fans came in and tried to take over. War escalated between the "folkies" and the "Anites". The Anites felt that no matter who was where, no one had more of a sovereign right to the land than they did. This was a rare opportunity to get close to the goddess herself, and screw your peace loving self if you try to stop me. The folkies were tired at this point and not a real match for the Anites. They made a valiant attempt but were more or less overwhelmed by these newcomers.

The sun was setting over the banks of the Hudson River and, as Ani sang about peace and equality, the Anites took over the precious landscape, pushing the dejected tree hugging folkies into makeshift reservations. My sister and I left Ani's set a few minutes early, and as we walked by what had to be hundreds the Anites gas guzzling SUVs in the parking lot, I came to the conclusion that if there is one common equalizer to the human element, it is that we are all assholes.

Peace.

If you subscribe to the Rhapsody music service, click the link below to sample a playist from artists found at the Clearwater festival:
RHAPSODY Link "Clearwater Artists"


The Willow 


View from Blanket 

Ms. Frizzle has some more pictures and her own take on the day. Check it out!

Yahoo! News - NY Promoter Wants Springsteen to Upstage Bush

I was checking ot the headlines today and this seems like a worthwhile petition to sign. Check it out if you are so inclined.

Yahoo! News - NY Promoter Wants Springsteen to Upstage Bush

The geeks come out at night

I have a geeky side, I admit it. I majored in computers in college but ending up with a Master's in education, so technology only plays a supporting role in my work day. However, get me in front of the computer at home and I can geek out. Right now I am fascinated with the concept of open source applications. This is when a company or group decide to create an application and instead of putting locks on the "code" they distribute it and encourage others to take it apart and use it as they wish. For the most part this means that there are a lot of free applications out there. Here are some of the coolest:

Thunderbird (email) Firefox (browser) - These two application are a good replacement for IE and Netscape. The email client works so well with multiple accounts and has a lot of fun features. The browser supports tabbed browsing. I won't go into it here, but this is an awesome feature.

Gaim - Basically it is one application for all your IM sessions. Only one program needs to be running instead of 2 or 3. It is good, but it doesn't support all the features of the original IM apps.

OpenOffice - This application has all the features of Microsoft Office (the whole package) but is free! I haven't used it much but it looks strong.

So in the course of the past few weeks, I have been reading about email security. The Thunderbird email client has an add on called Enigmail that works based off another program called GnuGP. I won't go into the details here, because I am still not sure how it works, but basically it ensures that your email is only read by the intended recipient and that recipient can be sure it is you who sent it. The best reference to why we should encrypt our email was an analogy to unencrypted email being that of a postcard that anyone can read enroute.

So I get it in my head that I need security and attempt to install what has to be the most user unfriendly piece of software known to man. I had to edit my Windows registry, create config files. It was very difficult and I was constantly afraid I was doing irreparable damage to my system.

I get it working, but it is only then that I realize that both sender and recipient nees to be using the protocol. So since no one is using this stuff, it is useless. Oh well...

Some good info. on email security:
Email security privacy digital certificates

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address

Jon Stewart's ('84) Commencement Address | News
Here is a copy of Jon Stewart's Address to the College of William and Mary class of '04. I should have taken longer earning my degree....I don't even remember who spoke to the class of '99.

Ian (W&M M.Ed. '99)

The magic of the media

***Rant On***

Every morning I get my headline news from My Yahoo. If you are not familiar with this section of yahoo, it is what is known as a portal. With a portal, the content that is displayed on your screen can be customized. I like my news to be tempered by pop culture happenings, so I have a lot of news/politics and entertainment. This allows for you to see two or three headlines from what I would say are the top 5 or 6 major media (The AP, Reuters, MSNBC, CNN, etc.) all in one glance.

With the headlines from different sources diplayed like this, it has been easy for me to see the inconsistency of what is being reported. While I know that there is going to be two sides to every story, you would think that the media sources could at least agree on if a movie did well over the course of a weekend. Where is the confusion in that?

Yahoo! News - 'Harry Potter' Loses Potency Atop U.S. Box Office

Yahoo! News - "Potter" Magic Holds Up

How can I figure out what exactly is going on in the world, if the media can't even figure out if Harry Potter did well at the weekend boxoffice? Just a friendly reminder that you have to do more than site an article to understand what is really going on.

***Rant Off***

Two thirds of the research triangle.

Don't male cat owners carry with them the stigma of "dangerous" or "mysterious"? Not the good kind, like what the women of "Sex and the City" are searching for. This is the creepy kind of dangerous we teach our kids about strangers. In fact, when I have kids and we are talking about "stranger danger", the male cat owner will be number one on my child's "creep radar".

We all know a "SCP" (Scary Cat Person). This is the little old lady who lives at the end of a cul-de-sac, whose only purpose on this earth is to care for the constant stream of cats entering and exiting her dilapidated shack. But there are other SCPs who are much more subversive in hiding their obsession. I have, on multiple occasions, been surprised by a seemingly sane coworker suddenly shows the symptoms of "cat scratch fever". You don't realize their ailment until you are alone in their office. It is only there that you see that every personal item contains a reference to a feline. The "Cat-A-Day" calendar, the handmade tissue box cozy in the shape of a cat (you know who you are!), and of course the personal pictures! It is in these pictures that you really see the glint of madness. I have seen co-worker's cats dressed up for Halloween, or opening gifts at the holidays. I feel bad for these animals because there is no dignity in a life where you are in danger of being dressed up in a bumble bee costume at any given time. I don't claim to know the laws of the universe, but this behavior must break a few.

So why, Ian, if you are so put off by these people did you join their ranks? A good question, and I have a story. You see, I wanted a dog. I lived in North Carolina for a time. While I was there I rented the downstairs of a duplex. This was the first time in my adult life I had lived in a house and not an apartment. My good friends lived upstairs and were cat owners. We had a big back yard that would have been perfect for a dog. I had the best dog ever growing up and I have always intended to be a dog owner.

Being intoxicated by living in a house, I deluded myself to thinking I would always be in a house and that it was time for a dog. I began rationalizing why I needed a dog. They are great companions! Security for the home! (The biggie) Women love dogs and their owners! So I began the hunt. However, the responsibility associated with a dog began to hit me: I had every intention of moving back to New England where I would most likely be renting an apartment. Every chance I got, I flew home to visit my family and boarding a dog would be costly. I worked long hours so it would be alone a lot. So I ultimately made the right decision: No mortgage, no dog.

However, as you get to know me you realize, I can't turn off the rationalizations; Once I set my mind that I want something, I usually get it. My upstairs neighbors (cat people) knew this about me and started replacing the dog in the scenario with a cat. I was genuinely resistant at first.
"I don't like cats", I explained.
They countered with, "No you like dogs better, but that ain't happenin'". Valid point.
"My sister is allergic," I pointed out.
"She is 900 miles away." Damn them!

This went on for a while until one Saturday they asked if I was up to a trip to Target. I accepted and the next thing I know we are parked in front of Petco.
"Do you need supplies for your cats?" I asked.
"No, this trip is for you." Sure enough, set up outside the store was the Cat Adoption Team (a non-profit organization whose membership contained hundreds of specially trained SCP who will stop at nothing to get these cats into a home and spread their obsession!)

I steeled myself and headed toward the cages. My mantra was, "I want a dog". I began to begrudgingly look in the cages. To be honest, the resistance was easy at first. Sure they were cute and your heart went out to the condition of their lives, but there weren't dogs, you know. I remember "picking" out my dog when I was five or six. Winnie (her name) picked me. These cats could care less.

I had just started to feel that I had successfully foiled their attempt, when my neighbor handed me this little ball of fur. I held it close to my chest and it looked at me and started to purr. It then climbed towards my chin and nuzzled it. I held it for a long time and I was sold.

This is where I was railroaded. I barely had said, I'll take it when the female half of my neighbor's household (a SCP in training) and the C.A.T. rep. said I have to have two. I swear it was rehearsed.
"With your long work days, he needs company", my neighbor said.
"He is part of a litter, he has a brother and two sisters. You should take one of them", the C.A.T. lady added.

So I looked into the cage and saw his brother cowering in the corner. Apparently the two sisters beat on the brothers relentlessly. They had to be double his size and although they told me all cats came neutered by a vet, I had a feeling these two had something to do with the operation. So once I had slipped down the slope, agreeing to two was easy.

Once I made the verbal commitment, the C.A.T. lady whole demeanor changed. "You do realize that cats live an average of sixteen years?"

"Um, ok," I said, confused.

"Are you up to that kind of commitment?"
At this point every woman who appeared to be single, turned to hear my response. I swear now I know the pressure a surgeon feels.
"Yes," I squeaked out, timidly.
"Then sign this form and know that we will be checking in on you," indicating the half dozen volunteers dressed in T-shirts with pictures of what I assume are their individual cats ironed-on. To this day, 800 miles away in Ma., I swear I see that women or one of her cohorts out of the corner of my eye. It is chilling.

So I have cats, begrudgingly. They are cool and thrive on affection, very dog like. Most importantly they are mine and that is cool, you know? There names are Raleigh and Durham, in honor of my five year "tour de South". And I swear that other than they live in my apartment, there is no cat paraphernalia that would categorize me as a SCP (As far as you know ;) )

Some interesting cat links:
Ask Jeeves Answer - what do you call a group of cats?: "A group of cats is called a pounce ."

I wrote this story after reading about "The Bear"

Like lemmings over a cliff...

My family has never been one to jump on board the popular way of thinking. When it comes to politics, I am convinced that my dad will always disagree with whatever he is being reported by the mainstream media, no matter how undeniable the source is. Unless it is coming from the BBC. The same story that was broadcast on network news will have no validity to my father, but if he hears it told with a English dialect, that same story couldn't be more fact than if he had witnessed the events of the story in person. The whole scenario is odd considering that although you can trace our lineage back to Ireland, but I don't know if my father has met anyone from the British Isles in person.

My sister and I, being of his direct gene pool have inherited this blatant distrust of anything of popular opinion. In school we were both associated with the outsiders, finding solace in drama and music, with all the other lost souls who, for reasons all their own, resist fitting in with the herd. As we have both reached adulthood, we wear our non-conforming traits like a badge of honor. In this world of SUVs, we drive our Ford Escorts with pride, justified that we are using less resources. As people watch American Idol, we foam at the mouth for the next installment of the House reality series on PBS (Frontier House, Colonial House). We voted for Nader, for God's sake. We do not conform!

Or at least I thought so. A few months back, my sister and I hopped on the train for a day in New York City. She lives in New Haven and has friends there allowing her to visit enough to be familiar with the city. On this particular day, we were going to explore Greenwich Village. My sister, armed with her copy of "A Radical's Guide to New York City", and I set out on the first warm day of spring. We set out to follow the trail of other self described non-conformists. We ate at Chumly's a very cool (but cramped) pub that has no markings on the outside to indicate it is a place of business. You have to know the address and pray, as you shove open the door, that you are not walking into someone's private residence.

We were feeling very radical until we happened upon a line that wrapped around a building that appeared to house a bakery. Now a true free spirit, would have paused, saw the line, and continued on their way knowing that nothing good can come out of that many people standing in a queue for something. Not us, we got in line, not even knowing what it was that people were waiting for. The excitement of a good desert outweighed our contempt for the populist mentality.

As we got closer to the shop (there had to be 50 people ahead of us) we could see the window display filled with cupcakes. People were exiting the shop in complete ecstasy. "Have you ever tasted anything so good?" we over heard. With that any chance of us leaving this line and maintaining our sense of individuality went out the window.

We rounded the final corner and the door to the shop. We could now see that there was an organized system implemented to create maximum efficiency in distribution of cupcakes. As we got even closer, a store employee (who could have passed as a twenty-five year old version of the outsiders of our youth) gave us instructions. The gist was take the appropriate sized box, select your cupcakes using a sheet of wax paper, proceed to the register. I soon discovered that the wax was unnecessary as there was no way to avoid being covered in frosting. The impatience of the "line people" grew exponentially as they entered the store, making the window of opportunity to get your cupcakes about 1/8th of a second. My sister did a great job of holding the tide of people cramming forward with her body while simultaneously telling me which cupcakes to pick. Interestingly, the cupcakes that she wanted were about as far away from me as the could get, causing me to balance precariously over the dozens of cupcake landmines to reach those she desired.

We sealed the box and paid for what was sure to be the best cupcake ever created.

We were able to find a seat on a bench across from the bakery. I opened the box and we each gingerly took a cake out of the box. At this 4 people with English accents asked why people were queued up.

"For the cupcakes", I responded.

The presumable leader of the group, asked "Are they any good?"

What a useless question, It made me question why my father trusts anything that the Brits have to say! "Of course they are, can't you see the line?" , I responded, my annoyance growing. The group moved on, ignoring the line an walking into the distance.

Now, with all the distractions gone, an hour after encountering the line, we took a bite in into what had to be the worst cupcake ever created. Then the shame set in. We had been tested and we had failed miserably.


This is the bakery. 


These are the cupcakes.