The Tank

I am in mourning. I just discovered that Bess Eaton Donuts are no more. Apparently they were bought out by a Canadian company, Tim Horton's. Now for those of you who have never been to a Bess Eaton (I think they are primarily a Rhode Island chain), there are a few things you should know:

1.) Their donuts were only mediocre. They pale in comparison to Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme.

2.) Apparently they were owned by some fundamentalist Christian group who decided to spread "The Word" on every cup, napkin, and bag they handed out. So no matter what you ordered there would be a passage from the bible that you could read while you ate your donut or drank your coffee. To this day I have no idea what the correlation is between donuts and Christ are, but I am very thankful they didn't go the Ben and Jerry's route in naming their donuts. "Body of Christ, glazed" would seem a little disrespectful. But then again I am not a religious man.

So, you are probably wondering why would a New Englander care about this chain going under when you have a Dunkin Donuts every hundred yards or so? Well, Bess Eaton was home to the Tank. The Tank was 32 ounces of iced coffee. In my honest opinion, the best iced coffee available anywhere. There is something special about a chain that would market a quart of beverage that contains enough caffeine to keep you alert for 3 days straight. To keep it in proportion, 32 ounces is the same size as a big gulp at the 7/11 (another quality product, I might add!)

The fact that I can no longer get a french vanilla Tank, (light and sweet) is very sad. I became addicted to this delicacy over the couple of summers during grad school that I worked as an intern with the University of Rhode Island's orientation program. We would have to be up, ready and perky by 7:00 am. Legal stimulants were necessary to accomplish this task, so there would be a long line of orientation leaders lined up at Bess Eaton for their "Tanks" to get them ready for the day of smiles ahead.

My parents moved to Rhode Island a few years ago so my addiction has continued until this summer. I saw that every Bess Eaton had turned into a Tim Horton's. I gave Tim Horton's a chance and ordered the largest iced coffee they served (a mere 16 ounces) and a donut. The donut was even worse than a Bess Eaton donut. And the coffee, the flavor just wasn't the same and the caffeine content didn't even raise my heartbeat to the customary 120 beats per minute that was a signature "The Tank". Oh well, at least I can still go to Del's.