Open letter to all the future contestants of "The Amazing Race":

I realize that I was late to jump on the bandwagon of this show, but I already have observed the following pitfalls. This is my advice to anyone who makes it on the show:

1. If your relationship is falling apart, it will not get better by adding the stress of an around the world race. The Amazing Race is not relationship therapy, nor is it a test to measure how well you work together under stress. The stress of marriage is very different than the stress of bungee jumping off a 150 foot bridge.
2. Referring to any country outside of the US as a "third world country" makes you really look like the arrogant American you most likely are and if it is said by people that have the words "model" or "actor" in their resume, you come off extremely obnoxious.
3. If you are over 60, good for you! You don't stand a chance, but bravo!
4. There is ALWAYS a flight leaving earlier than the one you are on.
5. No matter how far behind, there is always a chance.
6. No matter how far ahead you get, remember that no lead is safe!
7. Be wary of any previous winners of reality t.v. shows. They are shifty and will sabotage you at any turn.
8. Phil the host only likes you if you are in first place.
9. The prettier you are, the farther you will go.
10. Yelling at people that don't speak english won't make them understand you.
11. Hire a local to guide you whenever possible.
12. Being smarter than everyone else is a nice quality, but the Amazing Race is a physical contest. If you are counting on your ability to outfox the other teams to make up for your physical stamina, you will quickly be eliminated. I would suggest a pre-race workout routine of rope climbing and repelling, heavy lifting, running and rowing.
13. Lastly, when approaching the final pitstop, make sure to pay your Cab fare. Apparently karma is a huge factor in "The Amazing Race"

I hope this list is helpful. If it is, a small portion of your prize would be appreciated!

Nai